The Swings
Everyone’s talking over each other, and the voices all become to much. The clouds start to come in and I decide to float off into another mind space, one that is safe and unfocused. The place is easy, blurry, and all the voices seem to bounce off rather than penetrating the skin. This place is bad though, it makes me weak and vulnerable.
The vulnerability allows the mania to settle in. My thoughts begin to race around my brain, hitting the sides of my inner skull, making my forehead hot and sweaty. I need to leave the room. I bust out of my seat and run to the stairs. I breathe heavily now, looking for an escape. And I don’t know how, or why. Its like this bubble rises up inside by belly. Like I need to laugh or cry, or bleed or something. Eventually all the crazed thoughts merge into one word. Leave.
And I can’t
So I crash. Like all the energy in the world has been taking out of the atoms of my body. And I start to cry. Now riding home in the car I feel numb, and lifeless.
It’s horrible. Its on a daily basis now.
